👉 Right, let’s tackle that rather… specific mouthful of a phrase:
Private Family Medical Insurance (PFMI)
. Frankly, just saying the full title makes me sweat a little. It's basically a beige-uited, very stuffy sort of monstrosity in the British financial jungle.
Here’s how we unpack this verbal badger. — "Private": Immediately you know it ain't messing around with the NHS (National Health Service). You're paying to cut through the bloody waiting lists and get your bum seen by a real, actual doctor quicker. That premium is for that speed – a very brisk, frankly rather unpleasant, delivery of care. — "Family": Now here’s the kicker. It covers you, obviously, but also your entire brood. Your darling eight-legged bairn, your teenage shitstick who thinks he's permanently immune to everything, your perpetually complaining geriatric parent – they're all lumped into this financial swaddle of coverage. You pay a hefty whack for it, and suddenly the medical bills multiply like fleas on a badly kept Bassett Hound. — "Medical": Self-explanatory, really. It’s for when you inevitably get something terribly, horribly, inconveniently ill. (You will get something terribly, horrifically, inconveniently ill. Just accept this as a given. Murphy's Law of the Under-Fifty) — "
